Ask these. Stare intensely. Fall in love. JUST LIKE THAT.
By Catriona Harvey-Jenner
1. Given the choice
of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you
like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a
telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would
constitute a "perfect" day for you?
5. When did you last
sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were
able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a
30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a
secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three
things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in
your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could
change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four
minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake
up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Part 2
13. If a crystal
ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything
else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there
something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done
it?
15. What is the
greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you
value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most
treasured memory?
18. What is your
most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in
one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you
are now living? Why?
20. What does
friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love
and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate
sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share
a total of five items.
23. How close and warm
is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other
people's?
24. How do you
feel about your relationship with your mother?
Part 3
25. Make three
true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this
room feeling ... "
26. Complete this
sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... "
27. If you were
going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be
important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your
partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that
you might not say to someone you've just met.
29. Share with
your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you
last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your
partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if
anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were
to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would
you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
34. Your house,
containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets,
you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it
be? Why?
35. Of all the
people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a
personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle
it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling
about the problem you have chosen.
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